If You Had My Love [anthony]

[Pixel Ann Conner]

"Now if I give me, this is how it's got to be. First of all I won't take you cheating on me! Tell me who can I trust, if I can not trust in you?" Pixel sang along to J-LO's 'If You Had My Love' as it played out of her cars stereo. She had planned on driving a car that wasn't as.. noticeable. But, when she got down to her garage she realized she didn't have any cars like that. So she just climbed into her black mustang with teal racing strips and left. It was black, so.. it blended into the night sky.. right? Sure, let's go with that. She was anyway.

Her thumbs tapped on the steering wheel as she sang along. It was funny.. She was singing lyrics about "if you knew your love would be untrue would you lie to me?" and she was.. heading over to a guys house, with the soul purpose in mind to screw like rabbits, and that guy wasn't her fiance. It wasn't even a guy she was suppose to go near. He was a Price.. A dirty, nasty Price... A hot, sexy, totally fuckable Price. This was all her stupid brains fault. If it didn't make her thing she was stripping off Anthony's clothes, and he was kissing down her body, her hands in his hair as he.. Then just to wake up and it was all a dream. So.. she set off to find his pent house, really easy after a google search, then she she was in her car and going there, after wrapping a robe over her "pajamas" of course. Finally she was there, and was walking up the stairs, wishing she was wearing more clothes, and tapping on his door. She untied her robe, and waited for him to answer, and when the door opened she opened her robe, wearing some bikini cut underwear, that was very lacy what wasn't lace was very fine mesh so it was almost see through, and a plain white tank top. "Sexy delivery for Price." She said, grinning at him. "Care to invite me in so I can take advantage of you, boo?"

[Anthony Matthew Price]

Anthony had been awake for a little while now. He'd had a small nap earlier in the evening but those never last long. Sleeping for him period never lasts long. So awake he was at an ungodly hour in the morning. Not many people would picture him as the type to play video games but it did help pass the time when he wasn't working. Cause he sure as hell wasn't sleeping. But since he wasn't sleeping he sat on his couch with a video game controller in his hands playing some sort of army game. It had guns in it, he liked guns. If that wasn't obvious or anything.

Then he heard a knock on his door. His blue eyes looked over at the clock. The only person who'd ever knock this late was Cordelia. And only when important. Hopefully she wasn't hurt. He paused the game and quickly moved to the door opening it quickly expecting to see Cordelia there bleeding. What he saw instead was Irish girl, in underwear. And she was asking to come in so she could take advantage of him. He would be perfectly fine with that. He'd had a fix not long ago so he'd be awake unless she could make him sleepy. He let his eyes take her in, and they were full of lust then he moved aside and let her walk in then he closed the door behind him and turned to look at her once again, smiling a little.

[Pixel Ann Conner]

fade to black.. and back in

Pixel decided she liked Anthony and his home. She liked his sheets, they felt like they were a billion thread count and they were warm. His pillows provided the right amount of support for her head and were snuggable without being so fluffy her head sunk into them. His whole bed smelled like him, like soap and whatever detergent she used and she was probably just imagining this part but he smelled a little bit like gun powder. In a good way. She liked it. She liked how his room looked manly without looking like a mess and without screaming "I'm a single guy and the only thing I do in here is screw and sleep." It was nice. Though, it took a few moments for Pixel to come down from her high and realize all this, because five minutes again she hadn't been thinking, her mind was completely void and her body took over. So she didn't remember telling her brain to tell her hands where to move by they had, and she hadn't told her brain to tell her mouth to moan and kiss and pant and scream Anthony's name out, but it had.

But as Pixel laid in the soap, detergenty, gun powdered sniffed sheets, and snuggled into one of Anthony's pillows, she realized she liked those times, though she should probably just be leaving right now, getting up, getting dressed and.. gone. But she didn't want to. Instead she rolled over, propping herself up on her hand and reached over, playing with Anthony's chest hair. "Do you wanna watch a movie or something?" She smiled. It was just an excuse to see what else of Anthony's house, and him himself, that she liked.

[Anthony Matthew Price]

Anthony laid there. It'd been more amazing then what he thought it would be. His skin had goosebumps on his just feeling her touch him. He liked the way she touched him period. It wasn't forceful but it wasn't to soft. It was just right, she was just right. He didn't want this to be over. He'd never felt like that with another girl before. He actually wanted her to stay in his apartment. With other girls it was like isn't it time for you to go now. But not her. So when she asked if he wanted to watch a movie he nodded some.

"Sure .. unless you'd rather eat something first." His eyes moved over to hers. She was an extremely beautiful girl. He didn't quite understand why she was getting married to a guy she didn't like when she was gorgeous to have anyone she wanted. Then he sat up and moved slightly and got his pants and put them back on. Then he moved back to the bed and laid on his stomach but facing her. "How about breakfast .. and a movie?" If they made it that long before doing this again.

[Pixel Ann Conner]

Pixel smiled when he said unless she wanted to eat first. Was he offering to cook for her? Because she wasn't exactly sure where she could go in this part of town and not get shot out. It would probably be best if the only place she went to was her car, to get the fuck back on her side of town. Or maybe he just had fruit loops, and she'd probably get some of those. Before she could answer he was up and getting dressed, and she noticed something on his back that made her smile waver. Was that... No. She stared at the symbol all the time.. but still she could have mistaken it. It didn't mean that it was burned into Anthony's flesh. Then Anthony was back in bed, facing her and she could get a better look. She tried not to let her smile fall but it did.

She felt like she was going to vomit. Or scream. She hadn't decided which yet. She reached up, and placed her fingers over it. She didn't feel like eating.. or watching a movie right now.. She felt like punching her father in his dickhead face. "I'll.. I'll kill them. I'll bring my grandfather back to life and I'll shoot him. I'll shoot my dad too. They had no right to do this to you. It.. it isn't fair. It isn't what she wanted." Her aunt had said stop.. when she finally found out about it, she had put a said to it. She said to let Anthony go. When Pixel asked about what happened to the boy in the attic years after it happened, her Aunt had told her everything. Her aunt never withheld truth, never lied to Pixel. If Ann knew about Patrick and Jacob burning Anthony, Pixel would too. Since Ann never said anything, this was all Jacob and Patrick's fault. "God dammit... they're such assholes." She said and looked away, looking close to tears and slipping out of his bed, finding her underwear and tank top on the floor. She didn't feel right being here.. being in his bed with what happened to him.. what her family did to him.

[Anthony Matthew Price]

Anthony felt her fingertips run over the scar on his shoulder blade. Yup, one good sized ugly tattoo that would never come off. Her family did it in hopes that it would make him a dissapointment to his own family. And in his own way that's how he felt. Even though Cordelia said it didn't matter and she always made him feel cared about, he still felt like a disappointment to her. So in a way what they had done and the reasons they had done it for worked. It was a few painful months before that was healed enough he could even think about laying on his back. Her words though sounded angry, like she actually cared about him and what had happened. Not something he was used to from someone who was Irish.

Then she was getting off the bed and getting dressed. He moved quickly after her. He let his hands touch her upper arms and then his lips by here ear. "Where ... Where are you going? I don't want you to leave." He wanted her to stay. What'd happened to him, it wasn't her fault. It was her fathers and her grandfathers. And she couldn't help that she'd been born to those two assholes. She'd never done anything to him. She was there for him then. And he wanted her to stay now. "Please stay" He let his lips touch the spot on her back where her tattoo was. "I'm sure its not as pretty as yours but .. It's not you're fault its there. You didn't do it. What they did .. isn't on you. Maybe it's that way for my sister. But I fully intend on collecting from the right people." He was trying to tell her he didn't blame her for it. And that he didn't want her to feel bad.

[Pixel Ann Conner]

Pixel has just started fro the door when Anthony had a hold of her. Anyone else and she'd have elbowed them in the groin and been out of there so fast. Not Anthony... maybe it was because when she remembered Anthony she remember the 12-year-old in her attic.. She didn't care what he did since there, he was still that kid in her mind. Well.. maybe not after that, but she remember him that way. Pure and innocent, back before he hurt anyone.. back before either of them understood what their families did or what they were fighting about. Back when all Pixel knew was hurt, pain, from losing her older cousin.. not anger or hatred towards the Prices. Back when she might have been a little confused but it was okay to hang out with Anthony in the attic because the fight didn't involve them. It still shouldn't involve them. Their grandparents were just assholes. At least.. that's how Pixel saw it.

Then Pixel turned away, so Anthony could now see she was crying. Nothing like the other night but still. She reached up, playing with his hair. "Nothing on you could ever be unbeautiful, Anthony. It's not that I find it ugly, that's not why I want to leave.. I want to leave because it's not fair too you what happened. We were just kids.. We didn't know anything that was going on.. if Italians did kill Sam," Her voice caught a little bit and she had to clear her throat. "It wasn't you that did it.. My aunt never thought it was your family. She says you guys would have been smarter than to let there be a body to find.. She told my grandfather and father to stop because she didn't want another family to know the pain of losing a child, that an eye for an eye was stupid and immature when it involved children getting hurt.. to see what they did to you then.. Anthony it makes me hate myself." She let her hand drop and she looked away. "One day my husband is going to become like my father.. and then I'm going to have a son and he's going to grow up to do it.. I.. come from someone that would hurt an innocent child and it makes me sick, Anthony.." She looked away. She hadn't talked about Sam, or his death, in a long time. "It makes me want to kill my father."

[Anthony Matthew Price]

Anthony listened to her talk. It was nice to hear that she nor Sam's mother, blamed them for Sam's death. When truth was they hadn't been the ones who killed him. Had they her aunt was right there would have been no body, he would have just disappeared. Why leave evidence for someone like say a cop. And if they had, the Conner would have had not one single doubt that it was them. "If we would have killed him there would be no doubt in anyones mind that it was us. And she's right .. we wouldn't have left a body." He let his hands stay on her hips, still not wanting her to leave.

"I wouldn't be sorry if you're father turned up dead .. But I think death is to good for him. He deserves to know what it feels like to be tortured and marked with the enemies symbol. Then I bet he'd never hurt another child again." Anthony fully intended on marking him one day. To have people in the Conner organization question him because of the Price symbol he wore. One day if he could ever get to him. Without a ton of guards around .. on territory that wasn't his own. One day. "Just please don't leave"

[Pixel Ann Conner]

Pixel didn't look at Anthony as he talked, though she found his hands on her hips comforting. Man why did she have to feel this way about him? Every other guy she'd ever slept with and she wanted to get the hell in the shower, put on clothes, and leave, or make him leave, depending on who's hotel room they were at. Why did it have to be that with Anthony she wanted to stay? She wanted to cuddle and eat breakfast with him and watch a movie and maybe even fall asleep in his arms while watching that movie. It wasn't right.. this was all so wrong. Maybe that's what she liked about it.. that if her dad knew she was shacking up with a Price and even had a little bit of feelings for him.. he's head would explode he'd be so pissed off. Plus she was disrespecting her fiance by doing it, considering she hadn't even taken off the replacement engagement ring.

Then he was asking her just please don't leave. She wiped the tears away. This time the only thing that happened when she cried was her eyes got red, her blue irises standing out against the red. She sniffled softly, then finally looked up at Anthony, nodding softly. "I'll stay... You know.. I could lead you to him.. As long as he wouldn't know it was me.. Okay, he can't know I'm involved, at all.. But.. He deserves it. I don't care what you do to him.." She said honestly, then she wrapped her arms around Anthony and pulled herself close to him, taking in his scent, letting herself relax into him enough that she even closed her eyes. After a few moments she pulled away, and stood on her tip-toes, kissing his lips softly. Not like any of their other kisses, which were "please stop crying", "let's get it on" and "I'm trying to distract you" kisses.. This one was just a sweet kiss. Like something a wife would give her husband before going to work. She pulled away after a few moments. "Okay.. is it breakfast and a movie time yet?"

[Anthony Matthew Price]

Anthony moved closer to her and wrapped his arms around her. He didn't want her to feel bad for what had happened to him. It wasn't her fault but then she said something again he never expected to hear. She could help him get to her father. He wasn't sure why she'd want her own father to suffer, but he wouldn't say no to the help. And no one would ever know it was her who helped him. He'd just be in the right place at the right time. "I wouldn't sell you out that way." He moved some so he could look at her. Then she was kissing him. Different from all the kisses she'd been giving him. It was sweet.

He smiled some. "I was hoping you'd change your mind .. Lets go to the kitchen and see what I can make." There was a good thing about being Italian. They could cook until the end of the world. Make something out of nothing and still have it taste good. Food was right up there under family. His was mad at him at the moment. Well sort of anyway. He moved some and took her hand and led her down to his kitchen. "You can have a seat. What is it that you like to eat?" He didn't really know if she liked specific things or not.

[Pixel Ann Conner]

Slowly Pixel's mind began working of ways she could get her father to be somewhere that Anthony could get to him, privately, and mark him and whatever the hell else Anthony wanted to do to him. Yeah, Pixel wanted her dad to suffer, and maybe it was wrong to hand him over to the enemy so willingly just because she was angry with him for never being there, and making her marry someone she didn't even know, let alone love, but it honestly pissed her off that her dad nor her grandfather respected her aunts wishes. She was the one that lost a child, she was the one hurting, and she said stop, so they no longer had a right to hurt Anthony, because no matter what they were feeling it wasn't anything compared to what her aunt was feeling. They were just selfish assholes that wanted to say anything they could out on the Prices, so quick to blame them for anything and everything that went wrong.

Then Anthony was leading Pixel by the hand through his house. She let her eyes look around, taking it in. She liked it. Then again, she thought it would be kinda hard not to like somewhere that Anthony lived. Her apartment was smaller then his pent house, but bigger than normal apartments. She didn't spend much time there, she still lived with her dad for the most part. Mostly cause there was always somewhere there to help her homework, and at her apartment she was alone, and unprotected except for herself. She was terrified she'd be murdered or something in her sleep if she stayed there, because there weren't huge ass men to protect her. She guessed that would be one good thing about marrying James, she'd have someone to throw in front of her and use as a human meat shield.

Then Anthony was saying she could sit down, but before did she walked to the door, picking up the robe she'd dropped in front of it, and double checking to make sure it was locked. She didn't want anyone busting in there and seeing her. Then she walked back to the kitchen, hopping up on the counter after slipping the robe back, though she left it untied. "I normally just eat fruit loops for breakfast.. Or chopped up fruit. Whatever you feel like making is fine with me... Just stay shirtless." She said, smiling at him, against wondering why she couldn't just feel this way about James.. why she couldn't just be happen with the man she was given, why did she have to have feelings for the enemy? And why did the enemy have to have such hot abs? Seriously, Anthony's abs had their own abs. She could stare at the Italian for hours.

[Anthony Matthew Price]

Anthony looked at her when she sat on the counter. His smile only grew. He wasn't sure why when he was with her he suddenly didn't care about their family fued. No wonder she was so skinny, those Irish folks didn't know how to eat. "It's no wonder you're so skinny. You Irish folks .. You don't eat enough." He laughed some then moved his eyes from hers and down to what he was getting ready to cook. He was pretty handy in the kitchen. He'd had a girl tell him he'd make a good wife someday, on her way out the door. He supposed she didn't like that he cooked. She never did come back.

"You like omlets? I'm pretty good at those .. I don't even need one of those omlet makers." She might not be aware but he did own a restaurant. Not that she's ever been in there seeing as how she didn't come to this side of town often. But every now and then he'd go in and cook for people. He thought it a necessary skill. How could one survive if they couldn't feed themselves. Well he supposed they could eat out all the time but those places weren't always the best or the healthiest.

[Pixel Ann Conner]

Pixel laughed softly when Anthony commented on her weight and eating habits. She just didn't feel like cooking n the morning. Sleepy and already a bad cook? She'd burn the house down. "It's not all Irish Folk.. just Pixel Folk. Irish people are all about Meat, beer and potatoes, didn't you know that?" She joked. Not about the fact that it was just her that didn't eat that much, she really didn't eat that much. Then he was asking her what she thought about omelets. She'd love one. Normally she only got food like that if her aunt or someone was cooking for her. "What, you aren't going to make me some pasta? I thought that was all you Italian's ate beside pizza." She grinned at him. He picked on her heritage... she picked on his. "Omelet sounds amazing, like you in bed." She gave him a wink. She liked Anthony.. She wished where wasn't this stupid fight between their families, then maybe.. maybe it would be his engagement ring on her finger.

Well, at least it was nice to hope. Pixel pulled her eyes away from Anthony, and let them wander around his penthouse, trying not to think of how many girls he'd taken here before, or how many after sex omelets he made for them. She had no right to get jealous of those girls, because she and Anthony were nothing to each other, and she was marrying some other guy.. Her stomach twisted up again. If she married James.. she'd eventually have to have sex with him.. And she just didn't want to. That wasn't even about Anthony, that was just about James. If he was so forceful about it now.. what would it be like after they got married? Would she even get the option of saying no? Or at least making him wear a condom? She felt sick again, and all she could think about was wanting to never sleep with James. Not just sexually.. she never wanted to sleep in the same bed as him. Pixel looked back at Anthony. "What's a nice way of saying... 'I will never ever want to have sex with you, you gross dickwad.'?" Pixel asked with a small smile.

[Anthony Matthew Price]

Anthony laughed some when she picked on the pasta stereotype of his heritage. Ok so yeah they at a lot of pasta but Anthony likes so much more then that. But then she was saying he was amazing in bed and for the one he actually had to stop what he was doing just so he could move in front of where she was sitting and pull her into a kiss. Which he did. And he liked her kisses. He wished there was a way one day they could be together. This thing with their families was sorta stupid. That just because you had beef with one Conner that didn't mean you couldn't like another. People were different.

After he pulled away he moved back to where he had been and continued to cook. Then came her question. He did find it sort of odd. His eyebrows furrowed into a frown. More of a confused one. "Is there something you're trying to tell me?" She'd just called him amazing in bed. Was she now trying to tell him she didn't want to have sex with him again? She was one confusing girl.

[Pixel Ann Conner]

The thing about Anthony's kisses.. No matter how long they made for, Pixel wanted more, and more. Even if it was just more kissing she wanted more. Of course.. she would prefer for the kissing to turn into more, but really she was okay with just the kissing with Anthony. She loved where his kisses took her, into a complete state of happiness. It made her insides happy and fuzzy, and her lips tingle, and she got breathless and it was just all.. amazing. But Anthony pulled away and went back to working. She wanted to tell him she wasn't done with him, but figured better of it, because they'd end up making love again, and the penthouse would catch on fire, and that just wouldn't be too much fun, now would it.

Then Anthony was looking at her, and dammit he was adorable when he looked all confused. She shook her head to his question, looking down. How she was going to explain this to him? She slipped over the counter, walking over to him and wrapping her arms around him from behind, pressing her cheek against his back as her mind went a million miles a minute, then finally began speaking. "James.. didn't get down on one knee, and ask to marry me.. I never said yes.. He talked to my father, telling him he wanted to take over the business, and my father explained that it could only go to.. a male in the Conner family.. Sam was suppose to be that male. Even at sixteen he was being groomed to take over.. But.. then he died, and it.. would have to be my husband.. But I had plenty of time because my grandfather was still in charge.. then when he died.. My dad took over, and he realized he needed to start training someone to take over, and he.. started saying how I needed to find a man and have a son and all this.. pressure. I don't even really date.. like I've never before. It's hard for me to date. I feel like if we ever break up, Joe, my bodyguard not my driver, would take it upon himself to kill the guy... so since I never found a guy.. and James offered to marry me.. My dad was over-joyed... and he.. told me I was engaged to James. I didn't get a choice."

Pixel finished finally, then took a deep breath. "Now all he wants to do it sleep together and he.. repulses me. Him trying to feel me up under the table at our engagement party was half the reason I was at the piers... I just.. I don't want to have sex with him.." She didn't add what she was thinking, which was she only wanted to sleep with him. "Plus that'll make me a totally slut. Sleep with him then coming over here and sleep with you? Ew. I just.. I don't want to marry him, but I know I'll have to.. and I know I'll have to sleep with him at some point.. and have his children..." She finished her rant by swallowing nervously. She felt oddly okay telling Anthony all of this. Why not, she'd spill her guts about Sam? Sure, she didn't tell him how bad it hurt to not to able to see him every day, and how bad it hurt to have her best friend anymore, and how big of a hole his death had punched through her chest. If she went to a therapist, she was pretty sure they'd tell her that Sam dying was the reason she did the things she did, like steal cars and attach herself to guys and flirt all the time and sleep around. It was probably the reason she was sleeping with Anthony now, besides that it was amazing sex and Anthony was hot and crazy sweet. Pixel waited for a response from him, not sure if she would like what she heard. Especially if what she heard was how he didn't care, she was just some girl he was sleeping with, which was probably the truth even if he didn't say it.